just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
