I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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