I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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