so that wasnt chicken after all
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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