I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
