They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
