shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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