Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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