i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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