That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
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i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
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Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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