I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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