The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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