well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
