K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
