Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize