She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
