i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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