So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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