I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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