your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just made out with a guy for $7.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
