sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize