there was a trapeze. enough said
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Ketchup is God's man juice
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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