Heybabeimwearingurpanties
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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