This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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