wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
