Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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