Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Let's paint friendship bongs
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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