Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
