he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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