I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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