whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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