I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed