here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.