He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
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My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
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So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?