The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny