i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
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"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
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Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.