I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.