News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now