can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
