Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
