It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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