are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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