Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
