in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?