The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
