do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
