My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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