theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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