Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize