Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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