I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
