I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
