Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
