the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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