who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
