getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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