He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
