Small penises have feelings too.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
