i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
