There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My Sexting was not on an AP level
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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