k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I will pee on everything he values.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
