yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Operation Purity has been aborted
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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