Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
