I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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